It's May and Time is A'Flying!

Oh man, where have the last couple months gone?! Geez, I have seriously neglected this blog, I am not sure how I will catch up! But I'll try...
...First off, we had our little boy ON HIS DUE DATE on March 9. It was a longer labor and delivery than I'm used to and he was a much bigger baby, too, but all still went well. We had him at Bella Vie with no complications and brought him home two days later. Liam Terry Kaiser was born at 8:19 in the morning and he weighed 8 lbs 12 oz! The girls absolutely love him and are wonderful big sisters.

Since being home, it has become an adjustment to take care of and haul around 3 kids now, but after the first three weeks, I felt like I was pretty much back to my crazy mama self. Jonathan had to go back to work after only one week, but we survived and it seems like every day only gets easier.
I even started preschool back up and although it sometimes feels disorganized, it's been going mostly well. We've had a lot of catch up and review to do, but both Emma and Chloe were anxious to learn and it's been nice to teach them more and more. Only 6 days of school left, now, though, over the next 4 weeks before we quit for summer. Emma has done so well, she is more than ready for kindergarten next year. Having taught both her and Chloe I can see now how just their 4 months of age difference really does show their maturity and learning levels. Chloe is definetly NOT ready for kindergarten yet and I look forward to giving her extra special attention at preschool/pre-k next year. I think we'll even include Adaya a bit to start teaching her some letters and numbers as well.

In potty-training news, Adaya started to really get it in mid-April and it was exciting to see some progress. In fact, after a couple days of going pee-pee pretty consistently in the potty, I let her wear training pants/pull-ups! I cannot even believe it. I had pretty much given up after a few failed attempts, despite being so incredibly sick of having two kids in cloth diapers...especially her with her huge, nasty 2 year old poops! (Which, by the way, still have not once been in the potty yet!) And, after a couple days, she relapsed again. I think it was mostly due to Mommy and Liam going away for a weekend, leaving a friend and Jonathan to pick up the slack. She refused when there was no potty seat at the DuPont's to sit on and then didn't want to sit at all after a couple days for Daddy or me. So, here we are, back to the drawing board. She still sits every now and then, but it is so hard to be consistent with all our running around each day and having Liam to cart to the potty as well. (sigh) Just another reminder how easy Chloe was at all these milestones and what a nightmare Adaya can be at them!

Speaking of nightmares, I don't know if it is the full moon this week or what, but the girls have been absolutely impossible to settle down at bedtime. Add that to my extreme exhaustion from watching all three until 7pm each night, I feel like I am getting nothing done. Man, it seems like the hardest part of the switch from 2 to 3 kids is the loss of time. Instead of checking off my to-do list, I feel like I am washing twice as much laundry, doing twice as many dishes and cleaning up twice as many messes...over and over again each day. It's a bit frustrating. I just wish I had some more motivation instead of sheer exhaustion after they are in bed. Instead, I just want to crawl into mine with a book, a glass of wine or the remote.

Liam was looking like he was gonna start sleeping through the night, but all of a sudden, after Grandma Beka came and visited last week, his schedule got thrown way off and it was hard to get him to nap properly during the day, which made him not sleep well at night, either. We are finally getting back into our routine this week...just in time for Papa and Grandma Cheryl to visit! At least they don't have to sleep on our couch, though!

Pretty soon we'll have some more room, though. We've finally scheduled our contractor friend, Matt, to start building a bonus room in our garage. It should be done by mid-June and I cannot wait! It wont have floors until fall, probably, but just having that extra living space this summer will be so nice!
We've started our garden and things are growing nicely. We made a lot of changes and are still updating it a bit. It's exciting to see everything looking a little nicer around here. Makes us a little anxious to sell so we can move. But we are still waiting on the Lord for that.

Jonathan's promotion has kept him super busy and stressed at work and home, but hopefully things will only get better as he continues to improve his department and hire better employees. That is the main reason we would like to move. To cut down Jon's commute so he can be home more. But, again, we wait for God's leading.
I think it is safe to say that Chloe has officially stopped sucking her fingers! After a dentist appointment, we were told we really need to get on that, so we purchased a yucky fingernail paint and a special dolly to help. And like everything with Chloe, it was totally easy. After the first week, she had only relapsed once and hasn't again since. We are so proud of our little girl!
As spring moves closer to summer, we're making more plans and I cannot wait to post more pics of all the fun family things we are gonna do!

To Potty Train or Not to Potty Train...

...That is the Mommy question of the week.
With the little timebomb inside me now set to detonate probably within a month, I have been scrambling in my OCD and list-maniac ways to get all the things that "need" to be done before baby arrives. Some of those things have been accomplished right on schedule, for example Adaya is reasonably settled into Chloe's room and I am slowly packing our "Honey, it's time" bag, as well as accumulating the necessities for baby: baby book, name letters for the wall, hand and footprint frames, peepee teepees and a puppy dog la-la (baby blankie like A and C have).
I figure some of the rest don't have to be done at least for another two weeks, including washing and organizing baby clothes and blankets, selling off most of our outgrown PINK clothes as well as outgrown maternity items and mentally giving myself a refresher course on all things natural during labor and birth. (eek!)
However, some things on that to-do list are not going as well as planned. For instance, the time is getting close to where I would like to have Chloe in the backseat of the minivan, so the baby car seat can be installed, but the transition is not going so well. Don't get me wrong, Chloe is VERY excited about this, but in order to move into the backseat, she needs to be able to strap herself in (check) and unbuckle herself as well (not check). She cannot seem to press the Graco button down hard enough to release the lower latches of her 5 point carseat and her frustration with that has led her to question if she can even undo the top latch, which only two weeks ago, she was handling like a pro.
But the biggest issue currently on my mind is that Adaya is not yet potty-trained. In fact, unlike Chloe, who was sitting on the potty at 18 months and had lots of peepee and poopoo action there even before she was fully trained at 27 months, Adaya has yet to "make" on the potty even ONCE in her 26 months. However, she is really interested in all things potty; always asking when mommy or Chloe goes, trying to "help" us with toilet paper and even asking to sit on the potty several times a day herself. Just for fun (and also in my true OCD fashion) I decided to run the numbers to see where Chloe was, relative to Adaya at this time and found out that if I was to follow the same potty timeline as Chloe (including Adaya's 5 day advance birthday), Adaya should be fully trained (daytime) by (gasp!) February 18th! That's only two weeks away!!!
Other than their completely different personalities, though, Adaya arrived 5 days before Chloe turned 2 so I knew I would never potty train Chloe before she became a big sister. However, Guppie is due when Adaya will be almost 28 months, so I've always wondered if I could potty train her before the baby comes and eliminate the need to wash DOUBLE the amount of cloth diapers for many more months. Of course, even if I could potty train her in the next month, won't she just regress after baby brother is here, anyway?
So, herein lies the dilemma: should I try to push her to be like her amazingly easy big sister and potty train her now, knowing that regression in a month is likely? Or should I wait for the dust to settle after her baby world is rocked with a litte brother and possibly miss the window of opportunity since she is so entralled with the potty right now?
Gah!

The Secret Inside Me

It's been a long (11 years to be exact) journey, but I have finally finished my memoir, The Secret Inside Me. And while I have decided NOT to publish it at this time, I have submitted it to a printer for small-scale distribution. Interested? You can find it here.
I wrote it first and foremost to deal with the shame, hurt and anger of my past, accept Christ's forgiveness and healing as well as to share it with others so I no longer have to hold on to this "secret." Over the course of writing it, though, it also became a tribute to my family and friends who have loved and supported me at that time and all these years since. Finally, as I wrapped it up with a preface and an afterword, I hoped that it could be used to encourage others who may have themselves or possibly know someone who has experienced similar circumstances.
It is the story of myself as a young college coed, who, after making several stupid mistakes after high school, ends up suspended from college at home, trying to regain my parents shattered trust so that I can return to school. But instead, I continued to struggle between my desire to live like the world and the calling in my heart to live a life for Christ. When I end up pregnant, I tell no one but my best friend and cousin, return to school and selfishly do everything I can to make the tiny secret inside me go away. Eventually, I succomb to the hound of heaven and begin to take care of myself and the tiny babe, who ends up safely delivered in my college town hospital and adopted to a wonderful, Christian family out of state.
It is the story of Christ in my life and deals with themes of forgiveness, love and family. Now, eleven years later, I let go of a secret I have held onto for so long, telling only few family and friends and surrendur it to the Lord for His use.

Happy 2012!!!

This has got to be the first year that I was happy when the holidays were over! Seriously! Normally, I take after my dad in stretching Christmas out for as long as possible and I did that to some extent by listening to Christmas music since the beginning of November! But usually, I also like to keep all our decorations up until after the New Year. Well, not this year! The tree, decorations and everything were down and packed away the day after Christmas in the Kaiser home! Call it nesting, call it worry that the dried up tree was going to catch fire, whatever, I was ready to be done and have our living space back. I've also been itching to re-arrange our living room from what it has been for the last 4 years, or so it seems. So much so, in fact, I finally succommed to the idea of purchasing a new TV. Merry Christmas to us, we are now up with the times with a wall-mounted 47" flat screen television! I cannot believe it, but I absolutely love our new living room and the space we now have in the armoir after getting the old tv and stereo equipment out of it. And in true manly form, Jonathan LOVES the HD quality of our big screen and (gulp) new Blu-Ray player!


Next on the list is re-arranging our master bedroom, moving Chloe into the way back seat of the minivan and getting the baby room all set up. I've been slowly trying to make all of these transitions. Chloe was so excited about moving to the top bunk that about a month ago, I changed it from being our extra toy storage area to a more useable space. I put sheets on it and let Chloe practice climbing up and down the ladder and playing up there, but she still slept on the bottom at night. I turned their hope chest into a toy chest to get much of the toys off the floor and the dress-up dresses out of the closet and finally moved the matching dresser out of our room and into Chloe's to join its pair. After that, I slowly began moving Adaya's clothes out of the baby room and into the new dresser. Finally, last night, the move was complete with all her closet clothes in with Chloe's and her toys in the room as well. She spent her first night on the bottom bunk and Chloe slept on her top bunk. I think overall it went pretty well. I put them down at 7:45 and they stayed up talking and laughing with several parental interventions until just after 10pm, when Chloe had enough and wanted to go to sleep. I worried that I would have to put Adaya back in the crib, but even she settled down and fell asleep after a few more minutes. They both slept soundly through the rest of he night until about 7 when Adaya woke up, calling for Mama. I hoped she would go back to sleep, but by 7:30 she had woken up Chloe, who is usually terriffic about sleeping in until her Tot Clock turns yellow at 8. I then had to go in and put Adaya in the crib, at which both girls started crying, but eventually settled back down and fell back asleep until after 8...Phew! Here's hoping that each night (and morning) only continue to get smoother. If not, I am prepared to put Adaya down a little earlier each night. Thankfully, she stays in her bed just like Chloe did at this age and I hope that continues!


Chloe is also really excited about moving into the backseat of the car, but I don't want to make that transition quite until she can unbuckle herself out of her carseat. That way, I don't have to try and reach back to unbuckle her every day with my HUGE 7 month preggo belly! We have a booster for her, which she uses in the truck, but in the minivan she is still in a full point (I always forget if it's 3 or 5) car seat for safety. She is great about getting the top buckle undone, but hasnt quite mastered the strength to get the lower part undone. Hopefully she will have that done in the next month or so, so I can install the baby car seat where she is right now.


In baby news, we are now 31 weeks, yay! It has been an interesting couple of months, though. At 24 weeks, I was measuring 32 and by 28 I was at 38! This cause some concern even after my gestational diabetes tests came back far from risky. My midwife was pretty sure it was just excess fluid levels and not the baby, but just in case, she referred me to a perinatologist in Salem, the one whom they refer all their high risks cases to. After another ultrasound to measure the baby and fluid, it was determined the baby is right on track and looking very healthy, but my fluid levels were at 24...normal for 28 weeks in 8. (gasp!) I wasnt exactly surprised as I've been feeling very large and the baby moves ALL THE TIME (well, and why wouldnt it, it has a big ole swimming pool in there!) Aaanyway, to my constirnation, the doctor reccommeded that I come back in two weeks for a follow-up ultrasound to measure the fluid again and if things are not getting any bigger than perhaps we wont have to come back. I also learned that not only is having a large amount of fluid risky for preterm labor, but can also cause the cord to become knotted or wrapped around the baby's neck, which can be dangerous. Since he put it that way, I agreed to come back in 3 weeks on the same day I had my next Bella Vie appointment so I wouldnt have to make two trips to Salem in two weeks. Over that time, even with crazy holiday binging, I managed to lose 3 pounds and felt a lot smaller. The baby continued to move constantly, which was also a good sign and my feelings were confirmed when I went back in this week and my fluid levels were at 22 AND at Bella Vie they measured me smaller as well! I'm hoping this means that I wont have to go back in for an ultrasound again for another 4 weeks, but Im still waiting to hear back from my midwife about that. I do have to go back to Bella Vie in two weeks, though, but that's normal for the last two months.


My other big news of the new year is that I have finally finished my book! Actually I finished it back in November, but had one more person I wanted to send the manuscript to before submitting it to publishers. They emailed me this week saying that they do not wish it to be published. I was extremely surprised and dissappointed to hear this, because I only speak very highly of them in it and I hoped that they would see my true intentions of it being a tribute and a compliment to them and even a legacy, but I guess I was wrong. As far as I know, they didnt know that I was writing this book and I think that if I was really honest with myself I would have guessed that they probably wouldnt want me to publish it, but I felt strongly led by God that I needed to at least let them read it. It is what it is and despite my sadness over how they took it, I plan to honor my word and not publish it without their consent. In a way, it's also a relief, though, because now, the project is truly finished. I dont have to wait another several months in anticpation of hearing back from a publisher or even deal with the dissappointment of rejection, which for all I know, could be inevitable. I have said from the beginning of this project that it was God-led and I do not think that has changed at all. He knew they would say no, but He still led me on this journey for many other notable purposes. Through writing it, I have been able to own my past, let go of shame and fear of exposing it and ultimately experience healing and feel true forgiveness for past sins. I've also made the decision to print several copies without publishing it, so that I can still share it with others (albeit on a smallers scale than publication) as well as have a daily reminder on my bookshelf of God's amazing grace and small miracles in my life.
I was able to share my story this week at mom's group and open up to some of my closest girlfriends about it and the relief I feel over sharing that 12 year old secret has been amazing! Perhaps someday I can even share it on here....
Until then, here's to an amazing new year filled with new life, happy memories and free of shame and fear!