This has got to be the first year that I was happy when the holidays were over! Seriously! Normally, I take after my dad in stretching Christmas out for as long as possible and I did that to some extent by listening to Christmas music since the beginning of November! But usually, I also like to keep all our decorations up until after the New Year. Well, not this year! The tree, decorations and everything were down and packed away the day after Christmas in the Kaiser home! Call it nesting, call it worry that the dried up tree was going to catch fire, whatever, I was ready to be done and have our living space back. I've also been itching to re-arrange our living room from what it has been for the last 4 years, or so it seems. So much so, in fact, I finally succommed to the idea of purchasing a new TV. Merry Christmas to us, we are now up with the times with a wall-mounted 47" flat screen television! I cannot believe it, but I absolutely love our new living room and the space we now have in the armoir after getting the old tv and stereo equipment out of it. And in true manly form, Jonathan LOVES the HD quality of our big screen and (gulp) new Blu-Ray player!
Next on the list is re-arranging our master bedroom, moving Chloe into the way back seat of the minivan and getting the baby room all set up. I've been slowly trying to make all of these transitions. Chloe was so excited about moving to the top bunk that about a month ago, I changed it from being our extra toy storage area to a more useable space. I put sheets on it and let Chloe practice climbing up and down the ladder and playing up there, but she still slept on the bottom at night. I turned their hope chest into a toy chest to get much of the toys off the floor and the dress-up dresses out of the closet and finally moved the matching dresser out of our room and into Chloe's to join its pair. After that, I slowly began moving Adaya's clothes out of the baby room and into the new dresser. Finally, last night, the move was complete with all her closet clothes in with Chloe's and her toys in the room as well. She spent her first night on the bottom bunk and Chloe slept on her top bunk. I think overall it went pretty well. I put them down at 7:45 and they stayed up talking and laughing with several parental interventions until just after 10pm, when Chloe had enough and wanted to go to sleep. I worried that I would have to put Adaya back in the crib, but even she settled down and fell asleep after a few more minutes. They both slept soundly through the rest of he night until about 7 when Adaya woke up, calling for Mama. I hoped she would go back to sleep, but by 7:30 she had woken up Chloe, who is usually terriffic about sleeping in until her Tot Clock turns yellow at 8. I then had to go in and put Adaya in the crib, at which both girls started crying, but eventually settled back down and fell back asleep until after 8...Phew! Here's hoping that each night (and morning) only continue to get smoother. If not, I am prepared to put Adaya down a little earlier each night. Thankfully, she stays in her bed just like Chloe did at this age and I hope that continues!
Chloe is also really excited about moving into the backseat of the car, but I don't want to make that transition quite until she can unbuckle herself out of her carseat. That way, I don't have to try and reach back to unbuckle her every day with my HUGE 7 month preggo belly! We have a booster for her, which she uses in the truck, but in the minivan she is still in a full point (I always forget if it's 3 or 5) car seat for safety. She is great about getting the top buckle undone, but hasnt quite mastered the strength to get the lower part undone. Hopefully she will have that done in the next month or so, so I can install the baby car seat where she is right now.
In baby news, we are now 31 weeks, yay! It has been an interesting couple of months, though. At 24 weeks, I was measuring 32 and by 28 I was at 38! This cause some concern even after my gestational diabetes tests came back far from risky. My midwife was pretty sure it was just excess fluid levels and not the baby, but just in case, she referred me to a perinatologist in Salem, the one whom they refer all their high risks cases to. After another ultrasound to measure the baby and fluid, it was determined the baby is right on track and looking very healthy, but my fluid levels were at 24...normal for 28 weeks in 8. (gasp!) I wasnt exactly surprised as I've been feeling very large and the baby moves ALL THE TIME (well, and why wouldnt it, it has a big ole swimming pool in there!) Aaanyway, to my constirnation, the doctor reccommeded that I come back in two weeks for a follow-up ultrasound to measure the fluid again and if things are not getting any bigger than perhaps we wont have to come back. I also learned that not only is having a large amount of fluid risky for preterm labor, but can also cause the cord to become knotted or wrapped around the baby's neck, which can be dangerous. Since he put it that way, I agreed to come back in 3 weeks on the same day I had my next Bella Vie appointment so I wouldnt have to make two trips to Salem in two weeks. Over that time, even with crazy holiday binging, I managed to lose 3 pounds and felt a lot smaller. The baby continued to move constantly, which was also a good sign and my feelings were confirmed when I went back in this week and my fluid levels were at 22 AND at Bella Vie they measured me smaller as well! I'm hoping this means that I wont have to go back in for an ultrasound again for another 4 weeks, but Im still waiting to hear back from my midwife about that. I do have to go back to Bella Vie in two weeks, though, but that's normal for the last two months.
My other big news of the new year is that I have finally finished my book! Actually I finished it back in November, but had one more person I wanted to send the manuscript to before submitting it to publishers. They emailed me this week saying that they do not wish it to be published. I was extremely surprised and dissappointed to hear this, because I only speak very highly of them in it and I hoped that they would see my true intentions of it being a tribute and a compliment to them and even a legacy, but I guess I was wrong. As far as I know, they didnt know that I was writing this book and I think that if I was really honest with myself I would have guessed that they probably wouldnt want me to publish it, but I felt strongly led by God that I needed to at least let them read it. It is what it is and despite my sadness over how they took it, I plan to honor my word and not publish it without their consent. In a way, it's also a relief, though, because now, the project is truly finished. I dont have to wait another several months in anticpation of hearing back from a publisher or even deal with the dissappointment of rejection, which for all I know, could be inevitable. I have said from the beginning of this project that it was God-led and I do not think that has changed at all. He knew they would say no, but He still led me on this journey for many other notable purposes. Through writing it, I have been able to own my past, let go of shame and fear of exposing it and ultimately experience healing and feel true forgiveness for past sins. I've also made the decision to print several copies without publishing it, so that I can still share it with others (albeit on a smallers scale than publication) as well as have a daily reminder on my bookshelf of God's amazing grace and small miracles in my life.
I was able to share my story this week at mom's group and open up to some of my closest girlfriends about it and the relief I feel over sharing that 12 year old secret has been amazing! Perhaps someday I can even share it on here....
Until then, here's to an amazing new year filled with new life, happy memories and free of shame and fear!
